De moppenhoek
- A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
- Berichten: 8139
- Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24
Re: De moppenhoek
Ik zie het zo voor me hier even buiten de stad.hij had me verteld dat hij een huis met zwembad had
Kan bijna niet anders of die foto is hier ergens in Brasil genomen.
- A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
- Berichten: 8139
- Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24
Re: De moppenhoek
Ik hoop dat u alle 10 een prettige reis bij ons zult doorbrengen.
Het is mij een eer en genoegen om -eh- 8 zo charmante gasten
aan deze tafel te mogen begroeten in de wetenschap dat -eh-
wij vijfen in de komende dagen gezamenlijk zullen dineren.
Als iemand van -eh- u tweeen prijs stelt op een spel bridge,
dan nodig ik u hiervoor uit in m'n hut.
Kelner ik houdt er niet van om alleen te eten, dus je hoeft
niet verder op te dienen.
- gerard tenerife
- Berichten: 6491
- Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
- Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje
Re: De moppenhoek
This is Priceless! Note reference to the "Main Stream Media"...72 years ago
What is meant by the modern term referred to as "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS"...The definition is found in 4 telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri.
The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.
The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war - not a word has been added or deleted!
(1) Tokyo, Japan
0800-September 1,1945
To: President Harry S Truman
From: General D A MacArthur
Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?
(2) Washington, D C
1300-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur
From: H S Truman
Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!
(3) Tokyo, Japan
1630-September 1, 1945
To: H S Truman
From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz
Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?
(4) Washington, D C
2120-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz
From: H S Truman
Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!
Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' really means…
What is meant by the modern term referred to as "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS"...The definition is found in 4 telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri.
The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.
The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war - not a word has been added or deleted!
(1) Tokyo, Japan
0800-September 1,1945
To: President Harry S Truman
From: General D A MacArthur
Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?
(2) Washington, D C
1300-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur
From: H S Truman
Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!
(3) Tokyo, Japan
1630-September 1, 1945
To: H S Truman
From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz
Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?
(4) Washington, D C
2120-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz
From: H S Truman
Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!
Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' really means…
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.
- A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
- Berichten: 8139
- Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24
Re: De moppenhoek
Twee Indianen zien voor het eerst een waterskier.
Zegt de ene tegen de andere: ''Waarom gaat die boot zo snel?''
Zegt de andere: ''Omdat hij door een gek op twee van die planken
achterna gezeten wordt!''
Zegt de ene tegen de andere: ''Waarom gaat die boot zo snel?''
Zegt de andere: ''Omdat hij door een gek op twee van die planken
achterna gezeten wordt!''
- gerard tenerife
- Berichten: 6491
- Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
- Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje
Re: De moppenhoek
Snotty Receptionist
Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate
exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have
either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.
The waiting room was filled with patients.
As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that she was a
large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said,
“YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE
DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to
look at me, a now very embarrassed man. But as usual, I recovered
quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,
“NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE
OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR
THAT DID YOURS.”
The room erupted in applause!
DON’T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS
Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate
exam. Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have
either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.
The waiting room was filled with patients.
As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that she was a
large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said,
“YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE
DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to
look at me, a now very embarrassed man. But as usual, I recovered
quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,
“NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE
OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR
THAT DID YOURS.”
The room erupted in applause!
DON’T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.
- A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
- Berichten: 8139
- Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24
Re: De moppenhoek
Twee kerels zochten werk. Aan de stationschef vroegen ze of hij werk voor ze had.
''Jawel'' antwoordde die. Hij gaf hen gereeedschap en zei: ''zie je dat de spoorlijn daar
in de verte smaller wordt?'' ''Jawel'' antwoordden ze.
''Nou dan moeten jullie het net zo breed maken als de rails hier. Willen jullie dat?''
En jawel, dat wilden ze wel. Maar na een poosje gelopen te hebben zei de één tegen
de ander :''Tjonge 't is toch verder dan ik dacht. Zullen we er nu eigenlijk nog niet zijn?''
Toen keken ze achterom, waarop de ander zei: ''We zijn al veel te ver. Want hier is
het nog even breed en daar ginds is het al weer smaller!''
''Jawel'' antwoordde die. Hij gaf hen gereeedschap en zei: ''zie je dat de spoorlijn daar
in de verte smaller wordt?'' ''Jawel'' antwoordden ze.
''Nou dan moeten jullie het net zo breed maken als de rails hier. Willen jullie dat?''
En jawel, dat wilden ze wel. Maar na een poosje gelopen te hebben zei de één tegen
de ander :''Tjonge 't is toch verder dan ik dacht. Zullen we er nu eigenlijk nog niet zijn?''
Toen keken ze achterom, waarop de ander zei: ''We zijn al veel te ver. Want hier is
het nog even breed en daar ginds is het al weer smaller!''
- gerard tenerife
- Berichten: 6491
- Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
- Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje
- A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
- Berichten: 8139
- Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24
Re: De moppenhoek
Hij had ook de vliegen klapper kunnen nemenvlieg dood
- A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
- Berichten: 8139
- Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24
Re: De moppenhoek
Een knaap liep een dames toilet binnen.
Maakte zijn broek open en haalde zijn
jonge heer te voorschijn.
''Meneer'', zei één van de aanwezige vrouwen ernstig
''Dit hier is voor dames.''
''Nou en'' antwoordde de man, ''deze ook!''
- gerard tenerife
- Berichten: 6491
- Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
- Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje
Re: De moppenhoek
-
I have it on good authority…………….. this is a true story!
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather
forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with
a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the
palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."
The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He
is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very
high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the king continued on his way.
However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The
King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire
the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious
position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about
forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my
donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential
positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date.
I have it on good authority…………….. this is a true story!
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather
forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with
a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the
palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."
The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He
is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very
high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the king continued on his way.
However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The
King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire
the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious
position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about
forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my
donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential
positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date.
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.