De moppenhoek

Hier kan iedereen alles plaatsen over zaken die actueel en interessant zijn, maar niets met scheepvaart te maken hebben.
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A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
Berichten: 8139
Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR »

An illiterate man called Ojom had just arrived to visit
his brother from their village. One day on the bus he
heard people talking about a new type of drink on the
market, which is canned beer. He was so eager to see it,
so he went to a nearby hotel and said: '' What type of beer
do you have?'' The barman replied ''Any type of beer,
just name it.'' So he said to the barman ''Then give me
a bottle of canned beer.''
The barman couldn't control himself and he burst into
roars of laughter and the customers joined in.
The man got annoyed and said ''Are you crazy?
Why are you laughing? Is that funny or something else?''
The barman said ''I haven't seen a bottle of canned beer,
but if you mean beer in a can, here it is.''

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Jinny
Berichten: 2208
Lid geworden op: 09 sep 2017 13:34

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door Jinny »

Hahahahaha
Die is goed...... (kind en leraar)



Thks Jan..
Je wordt al geboren
Je wordt al begraven
Waarom zou je ook nog worden geleefd?
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gerard tenerife
Berichten: 6491
Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door gerard tenerife »

The Danger Of Attending A Class Reunion



He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having been high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past, without fail.



This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high, with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow smiling coyly back at him. Finally during one dance, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me? After about 6 seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes.... yes I will!"



Needless to say, the evening ended on a happy note for the widower. However, the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes or did she say No? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over-and-over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question, but for the life of him could not recall her response.



With fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?” "Why you silly man, she replied, I said Yes. Yes I will! And I meant it with all my heart!"



The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat. Then she continued. "And I'm so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me.”
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.
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A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
Berichten: 8139
Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR »

''Hoe was het personeels reisje van de zaak dit jaar bij jullie?'''
vraagt Jacob aan zijn vriend Klaas.
Klaas schudt met zijn hoofd zegt: ''Geweldig, geweldig ..... alleen
tegen de avond is mij iets vreselijks overkomen.''
''Wat is er gebeurd?'' vraagt Jacob nieuwsgierig geworden.
''Ik heb mij met één van de vrouwelijke collegas verloofd.'' zegt Klaas.
''Nou dat is toch niet zo vreselijk'' zegt Jacob opgewonden.
''Nee, dat niet'' zegt Klaas. ''maar ik weet niet meer met welke.''
Lemans
Berichten: 197
Lid geworden op: 21 apr 2010 22:38

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door Lemans »

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Good : Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good : Your wife's not talking to you
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good : Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good :Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good : Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good : You just gave "the birds and the bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections

Good : Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good : Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly : She makes more money than you do.
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gerard tenerife
Berichten: 6491
Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door gerard tenerife »

Afbeelding
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.
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A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
Berichten: 8139
Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR »

ooievaarsnest.jpg
ooievaarsnest.jpg (28.04 KiB) 3347 keer bekeken
Een ooievaars echtpaar heeft drie jongen gekregen.
Eén er van is een lachebek. De andere twee zijn serieuzer.
Op zekere dag moeten ze dan hun werk maar eens leren.
De 1e vliegt er met een kindje uit, maar komt er mee terug.
Hij kwam bij een huis, daar hadden ze al zeven, zei hij.
Ik kon het er niet kwijt.
Dat zelfde over kwam ook de tweede.
Toen was de derde aan de beurt. Vliegt uit en na een lange
tijd komt hij lachend met het kindje terug.
Waarom lach je nu weer vragen de anderen in koor.
Zegt hij: Ik heb een halve dag boven een Marva kazerne rondgevlogen.
Had je die kwade meiden daar allemaal eens moeten zien!!!
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gerard tenerife
Berichten: 6491
Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door gerard tenerife »

Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex...

#10... A "below par" performance is considered damn good.
#09... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a
couple of beers.

#08... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07... Foursomes are encouraged.
#06... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05... Three times a day is possible.
#04... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#03... If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#02... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished and...

#01... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.
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A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
Berichten: 8139
Lid geworden op: 09 okt 2017 03:24

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR »

En weet u waarom veel vrouwen tegenwoordig het bowlen opgeven
en in plaats daar van veel meer aan sex gaan doen??
De ballen zijn lichter en ze hoeft er geen andere schoenen voor
aan te doen!!
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gerard tenerife
Berichten: 6491
Lid geworden op: 22 mei 2009 21:01
Locatie: valle san lorenzo,tenerife,spanje

Re: De moppenhoek

Bericht door gerard tenerife »

Subject: a little tutter




A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede,
which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box,
"Would you like to go down the pub with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again,"How about going down the pub with me ?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.

This time he put his face up against the centipede ' s box and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the pub with me? .....

This time, a little voice came out of the box, ''I heard you the first time! I 'm putting my shoes on!"
een pessimist is een optimist met veel ervaring.


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