Pagina 404 van 504

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 12 okt 2018 15:35
door jdbvos
M'n vrouw zei vlak voordat ze boodschappen ging doen dat ze vanavond quiche wilde eten...

Dus zei ik dat ze moest oppassen geen verstandsquiche te nemen: die zijn vaak rot....

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 12 okt 2018 23:42
door gerard tenerife
A 70-year-old bloke called Ross loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,

'Pick me up.'

He looked around and couldn't see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,

'Pick me up.'

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.

'Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?

I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah, F... it ….at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With age comes wisdom.

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 13 okt 2018 03:37
door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
SPORTVERDWAZING?
Het lijkt er op, want wat te denken van die man
die een prostituee bezoekt en naarmate hij zich
verder uitkleedt allerlei getatoeerde merknamen
onthult. Linker schouder: Kappa, rechterbovenarm,
New Balance; borstkast, Puma, vlak boven zijn navel
prijkt Nike en op zijn jonge heer staat Aids! ''Ho, ho,''
zegt ze, ''daar begin ik niet aan! Zoek maar een ander!''
''Doe nou maar gewoon je best,'' zegt de man lachend,
'''dan zul je zien dat Adidas staat.''
adidas.jpg
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Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 13 okt 2018 23:32
door gerard tenerife
Afbeelding

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 14 okt 2018 03:40
door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
Zegt een collega op het werk tegen een andere collega:
''Wat heb ik nou gehoord, is je vrouw 25 jaar ouder dan jou?''
Zegt die collega: ''Gewoon een misverstand. Ik kwam haar eigenlijk
om de hand van haar dochter vragen, maar ze liet me niet uitspreken.''
jonge-man-met-oudere-vrouw-.jpg
jonge-man-met-oudere-vrouw-.jpg (29.18 KiB) 2868 keer bekeken

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 14 okt 2018 11:56
door Bertus.
IMG-20181013-WA0000[41].jpg
Bertus.

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 14 okt 2018 13:03
door HENK HERMANNS
SPERMA BANK 20X26.jpg
SPERMA BANK 20X26.jpg (183.81 KiB) 2767 keer bekeken

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 15 okt 2018 00:38
door gerard tenerife
Subject: "Never Squat With Your Spurs On!" -


Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot, Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political/country/cowboy sages ever known.)

Some of his sayings:

1 Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2 Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3 There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4 Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5 Always drink upstream from the herd.

6 If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8 There are three kinds of men:

The ones that learn by reading.

The few who learn by observation.

The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9 Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n than puttin' it back in.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.



ABOUT GROWING OLDER …

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of algebra …

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Eight ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 15 okt 2018 02:39
door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
hij had me verteld dat hij een huis met zwembad had
Ik zie het zo voor me hier even buiten de stad.
Kan bijna niet anders of die foto is hier ergens in Brasil genomen.
zonder zwembad.jpg
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Re: De moppenhoek

Geplaatst: 15 okt 2018 02:56
door A.Kuiper/J.Pessoa/BR
39955734-captain-.jpg
39955734-captain-.jpg (12.42 KiB) 2655 keer bekeken
Bij de kapitein aan tafel.

Ik hoop dat u alle 10 een prettige reis bij ons zult doorbrengen.
Het is mij een eer en genoegen om -eh- 8 zo charmante gasten
aan deze tafel te mogen begroeten in de wetenschap dat -eh-
wij vijfen in de komende dagen gezamenlijk zullen dineren.
Als iemand van -eh- u tweeen prijs stelt op een spel bridge,
dan nodig ik u hiervoor uit in m'n hut.
Kelner ik houdt er niet van om alleen te eten, dus je hoeft
niet verder op te dienen.